Kindness.

Being kind even to those who are not kind to us is infectious – and yes, in some ways that kindness reaches even the most remote person.

May I share something powerful I learned at a seminar?

When you feel down or depressed, go to a public place.

Walk through that space making eye contact with 20 people – as you look at them say to yourself “I wish you well”.

It is not necessary to approach them and say it – they might think you are crazy, anyway.

But many will smile back at you and you most certainly will decrease your loneliness and lift your spirits.

Forgive deficiencies in yourself and others.

Be thankful for that which you have even if it is not what you want at this time.

Recommend these day starters to friends and family here.

The choices:

Get more money.

Or rein in your desires.

There is certainly nothing wrong with taking steps to make more money but cutting back our desires is another useful path to happiness.

As I used to tell my USC students in Los Angeles – all the excesses epitomized in Beverly Hills, Bel Air, Holmby Hills or Benedict Canyon really don’t make people any happier.  When the laughter died down, I explained.

The more money we make, ironically, the poorer we often are.

Gratitude for what we have tempers the continuous desire that more is better.

Studies show that of two groups – one on the receiving end of a gift and the other giving that gift away – the group that gave instead of received rated themselves happiest.

In other words, we have enough to feel happy at this very moment.

Recommend these day starters to friends and family here.

Don’t do it.

95 million Millennials are leading the way toward a diversified life as the “slash generation”.

A New York Times article asserts that this generation defines itself by a “slanting piece of punctuation”.

Forensic Psychiatrist/D.J. Researcher/Baker. Life Coach/Writer/Singer.

The forward slash of texting and online bios turns out to be more significant than just work/play, friend/lover.

This generation is different from previous ones that held separate jobs to pay the bills. Millennials take on many personas to have a more creative life.

Split duties and more than one job or pursuit are nothing new.

The message is to follow your dreams and make as many of them come true as you can.

Recommend these day starters to friends and family here.

Not a new iPhone – although that’s not a bad #2.

It’s granting someone special their special dream.

As a program director in radio, I always did a Christmas contest known as “Christmas Wish” because it put audience members on the air caught in the act of doing something for someone else.

It not only makes great radio, it makes great holiday spirit.

You see, the best gift anyone could ever receive is the gift of helping them achieve their dreams.

Even for kids.

And certainly for those close to us.

And it doesn’t mean you have to buy something for them – you may just have to help enable them to seek their dreams and overcome the negativity around us that gets in the way.

A spouse who wants to make a difference can be spurred on when you encourage them to take a course while you commit to remaining home with the children one night a week.

A teenager who dares to dream about a non-traditional future (dancer, singer, president of a company) doesn’t need money to make their day – they need your support, which of course, is free.  Being a cheerleader and coach costs nothing but time.

A friend who can’t get back to see their ailing parent for lack of funds, can achieve their dream when you (and others) contribute small amounts to make it possible.

Christmas has become such a consumer holiday that it often ends with little meaning and nothing transformational for us.  It is a religious holiday, but if it isn’t for you, the holiday season can be an excellent time to remember that in giving you receive – and giving doesn’t always mean spending money.

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Now that the NFL has reinstated former Baltimore Ravens Ray Rice after video showing him beating his fiancé (now wife) unconscious in an elevator, the question arises – does everyone deserve a second chance?

Many teams don’t want to touch Rice and a few others are pursuing the talented running back under the guise that everyone deserves a second chance.

Putting this specific case aside, second chances are usually permitted in life when the perpetrator has shown remorse, undergone some meaningful maturation or change and is desirous of overcoming that which brought them down.

Second chances are earned not entitled.

Some of the best outcomes have been the result of second chances but be aware that often the same things happen again the second time around.

The difference being – remorse and the burning desire for a new course.

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Why does it seem that it takes great adversity to force us to make great changes?

Pain is transformational.

Being out of work when we are so talented makes us more willing to do whatever we must to overcome adversity.

Pining to meet the right person who would make our lives complete often drives individuals to spend time to agonize over the qualities they really want in another person not the obvious and that can change our availability for healthier relationships.

That which is unfair – say, losing a perfectly healthy kidney because of the one kidney stone you’ve ever gotten in life – makes you value and appreciate your good health and stay motivated to right the wrong through a determined healthy lifestyle.  I know it did for me.

There is no getting around that it takes pain to produce pleasure.

It’s the human condition and if you look back to how you’ve achieved all that is pleasurable to you, you may also find that adversity had to be overcome with acts of determination.

Here’s what really makes a difference.

When you experience pain in life, constantly remind yourself that it is this very pain that will in time transform your life into something much better.

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A familiar figure haunted by rumors of sexual misconduct is cut free by NBC where Cosby had been developing a new television series.

The trusted Dr. Huxtable under suspicion of rape.

To be sure, Cosby has admitted to nothing wrong nor has he been charged or convicted of the rape charges that a number of women have come forward to allege.

At issue is objectifying women at the least and criminal behavior at the worst.

I came across a group called Women Against Rape in the Philadelphia area that worked with victims and their partners to overcome the many effects of being violated sexually.

One of the first things that you learn is that rape is more a crime of anger than the forced desire of sexual pleasure.  We learn that the perpetrator is often angry at a female relative and acts that anger out against their victims.

A few thoughts regarding the Cosby situation …

1. Stay off of pedestals because they are easy to fall off of.
2. Power tends to corrupt so give away your power to maintain it.  Trying to accrue it often leads to inappropriate behavior of one form or the other.
3. Trust is fleeting.  We earn it moment by moment.  No one is declared trustworthy for their entire life.  It would be wise for us to trust people when we can continually cite a reason for that trust.

THANK YOU FOR FORWARDINDING THESE DAILY DAY STARTERS TO FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES AND ENCOURAGING THEM TO SIGN UP FOR DAILY EMAIL DELIVERY.

You get good at what you do to get rich.

Getting rich doesn’t make you good.

Often college seniors are looking for big paying jobs when they graduate from college and who can blame them – most are saddled with college debt that will likely hang over them until they’re well into their forties.

But that’s a mistake.

Two things that successful people always do:

1. They make sure they are in the right building – that is, the right company, the right place, the opportunity that makes their passion burn red-hot.
2. Wealthy people are good at what they do first and they make their money second.  Not the other way around.

So the best advice we can give ourselves or to others is to dispense with notions of making more money and become obsessed with the excellence we can produce.

Opportunity and excellence go hand in hand.

Recommend these day starters to friends and family here.

Every year at this time I like to share a simple way that can add meaning to just about anyone’s Thanksgiving holiday.

Yes, even with drama queens, warring family members, distracted behavior and a growing abundance of self-absorption.

When you gather at the dinner table, someone made that dinner (perhaps with help).

Or you dine out, someone paid for that dinner.

Here’s how to make a Thanksgiving so meaningful it will fill your heart with joy.

You be the one who speaks up before a fork is lifted to show recognition for the person (or people) who made Thanksgiving possible.

“I want to thank you, mom, for all the love and hard work you put into this day”.

That’s it.

Others will add their own comments – it’s like you being the first person to get up and dance at a wedding – others easily follow.

If you decide to try this, please feel free to comment below or contact me personally here.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It amazes me how often people say they are going to do something and never do it.

I get that their promise could simply be a good intention but good intentions become good deeds by following through.

Even salespeople fail to follow up when you’re a potential customer – this is not only bad sales training, it is disappointing others.

The cure is to take ownership of that which you say you’re going to do.

If you say it, you own it.

But that pertains to us.  How about others who let us down?

Unfortunately it is part of the human condition – making promises that cannot be kept.

So since we can’t control others, we can control how we hear promises.

And for every promise made to you, quietly add, “This is only a good intention”.

Then be grateful for every promise kept.

And be realistic about every promise broken.

Recommend these day starters to friends and family here.