Suffering is transformational.

No one ever wants to suffer, but it is a necessary part of life.

Out of bad comes good.

Out of pain comes pleasure.

We grow when we deal with life’s hurts even as we improve our physical health by the motto “no pain, no gain”.

I have been fired and eventually hired for an even better position.

I have worked through divorce to know more of what I want and more of what I need to be.

Being broke and standing on the unemployment line in Camden, NJ has made me appreciate whatever good fortune I may have earned later.

I’ve overcome sickness to realize a level of health and fitness I would have never previously appreciated.

I’ve had my heart broken only to love again in a way never imagined.

Losing loved ones is so painful that it seems it will never end and although people cannot be replaced, they can be honored and become a source of life-changing inspiration for you as you live.

I am my parents and my best friend, all of whom are no longer with me but who are now always in me.

So, soak in the good times – they are well earned.

But never despair because the sorrows we must endure in life will return as joy in a much more meaningful way.

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Meetings are usually boring, a waste of time and demotivating and that’s whether they are in-person or as part of an online collaboration.

Try this one instead.

1. Call a meeting with one purpose that you will clearly define (i.e., “to determine what we’re going to do at the trade convention”).
2. Send a digital notification to potential attendees with the meeting purpose clearly defined – say no more other than where and when.
3. When everyone arrives have the group stand in a circle – no sitting permitted.  You assume a place in that circle.  A circle is more democratic than, say, a horseshoe configuration.
4. Go around the circle and have everyone contribute.  If others respond, fine, but keep the circle going.
5. Limit the meeting to 5 minutes (10 if there is a lot of useful back and forth – never longer).
6. Thank everyone at the end, make assignments or ask for volunteers.
7. Decide on follow-ups or next steps and simply disperse.

People don’t need old-fashioned meetings to come up with new age ideas.

When you get a reputation for getting something done without wasting people’s time, you will gain even more cooperation.

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Dale Carnegie has a very useful approach to better problem solving outcomes.  I taught it for years as an instructor for them and use it frequently even now.

Here it is with a few twists that I have added to make it even more effective.

1. Define the problem.  Believe it or not, lots of good people are off solving problems that are not the focus of their attention.

2. What are the causes of the problem.  Have a field day and spend some time writing as many reasons as you can come up with.

3. What are all the possible solutions?  Be careful not to solve your problem yet.  Just come up with every approach you can think of even if it is off the wall.  Note:  often off-the-wall is the solution.

4. What is the BEST solution?  It could be one or a hybrid of one of your possible solutions.

5. Determine an Action Step.  How to proceed.  Too often great things are decided but there is no follow-through.

6. Set a date to review the status of your actions.  Very important step to make sure that there is always forward motion toward the resolution of solving your problem.

This works for major career decisions, business problems and very often for personal problems.  It gives an important reason for bringing people together for meetings.  It may take a few times but this can be part of the way you think and attack the challenges of life in a proactive way.

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The losing Carolina quarterback walked out of a media interview after losing The Super Bowl Sunday to Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos.

Losing is tough.  No one likes it — especially minutes after the losing the game.

Newton actually called himself a “sore loser” and is wearing it with pride – for now.

This irritates some people and parents who are still trying to keep some semblance of sportsmanship in sports.

Losing is a rehearsal for winning – winning is best, losing is second best and is a great motivator.  Cam Newton will likely lead another team to The Super Bowl and has a good chance of winning next time.

The Super Bowl trophy is named after Vince Lombardi, the winning coach who is famous for saying “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing”.

I get it and you do, too.

We don’t play to lose.

But there is great value in all our lives to respect setbacks as the greatest character builder known to humanity.

Go easy on Cam Newton.

He just needs a little time to process what we all have trouble with from time to time – understanding how to deal with defeat.

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Politicians are outdoing themselves this season for being nasty and even hurtful.

Seems like nothing is off limits.

But we don’t have to look to politics for nastiness, just see what’s happening in schools, offices and even friendships.

We hate haters but it is getting easier to express hateful comments because, sadly, people are more accepting of it.

To stamp out haters, it is important not to let the insult divert you from what you believe.

Haters have apparently become diet doctors because they sure throw a lot of hurtful comments about people’s body shapes and sizes.

Instagram alone has become a reserve for outdoing others by making them jealous and trying to get more “likes”.

Forget what others think.

What do YOU think?

Haters are going to hate because it’s easy to do with the high connectivity we have in our digital world.

Let it roll off of you (shake it off, as Taylor Swift advises).

Do not retaliate – be the person you want to be.

Don’t go trolling for “likes” unless it is a “like” for how you feel about yourself.

No love is possible unless we can love ourselves first and most importantly.

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I had the privilege of knowing Don Rosenberg a.k.a. Dr. Don Rose, the outstanding morning personality of WFIL, Philadelphia radio.

Recently, my friend Gerry Wilkinson who is the heart and soul of Philly Broadcast Pioneers, did what he does best – make history come alive with this quote sent to Rose by a listener on Don’s last day on the air October 5, 1973:

“Once in awhile, we meet someone who stands out from the rest of the flock. Someone who flies higher and faster and further than we ever thought possible. It helps us to do the same”. 

A mentor is defined as an experience or trusted advisor, but he/she can be so much more.

Choose to be in the air space of people with high values, worth ethic and devotion to doing the right thing.

The next time we hear the word “mentor” used, let’s compare it to the definition that Dr. Don Rose shared with us on his last Philadelphia broadcast.

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Usually when management changes, heads roll and new people are hired to “fix” the old company.

But that didn’t happen when Dave Gettleman took over his job.

Gettleman was hired to operate two years ago and he decided to avoid five or six months of upheaval that would have happened if he put his own people in place.

His philosophy in Gettleman’s own words is “I think everyone should have an opportunity to do his job”.

Then he watched and evaluated everyone he inherited to see strengths and weaknesses.

And this is the important part – Gettleman believed he could make the changes he wanted to achieve a winning organization by influencing his existing employees to come over to his way of thinking.

Well, did it work?

Sunday, his Carolina Panthers, where he is the team GM, will play Denver in the 50^th NFL Super Bowl.

Imagine the loyalty Gettleman has accrued by not replacing the usual moving parts.

And think of all the other NFL teams that could not wait to make a change even before the season ended (yes, I’m talking about you Philadelphia Eagles).

A policy of “no-firing” can be more successful then cleaning house.

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The winner of 21 Tennis Grand Slams has always had a love hate relationship with how she looked.

She competed with thinner athletes not ones with big muscular, curvy bodies.

“When I was younger, it was hard seeing all these thin athletes when I had more muscular curves and was big-busted”.

Now, she is in a different place:  “”I love that I’m a full woman and I am strong, and I’m powerful, and I’m beautiful at the same time, and there’s nothing wrong like that. It’s so important to look at the positives, if I get caught up looking at the negatives it can really bring you down.”

Body image is molded by those around us and societal “norms”.

But we now live in a world of diversity where it is beautiful to be unique and different.

For everyone who struggles with body image issues it is encouraging to see the power than comes from first loving yourself.

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If someone pushes you to try to do something you’d rather not and you answer with “I just can’t”, you are likely inviting even stronger attempts to get you to do what you don’t want to.

On the other hand, if you answer “I won’t” meaning “I won’t (do that which you are asking me to do), then it is more definite and final.  It is likely your wishes will be accepted without any further attempt to pressure you.

Can’t when used in this context could be taken to mean, “I can’t (unless you push me to do it)”.

Won’t, in the same context, means I’ve made my mind up and that is my final decision.

In life, we have an obligation to be true to ourselves in all human contact and by saying what we mean, we put the weight of conviction behind our words.

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They don’t respect someone who is perfect.

Who thinks they are always right.

Who makes them feel envious or jealous.

Who knows everything.

In our world now, people respect authenticity.  People who seem real even if they are a bit odd or imperfect.

That is why being vulnerable is real and has real benefits.

Here are the four words you should use more often that will make others respect you:

“I made a mistake”

The only thing worse than being wrong is always being right.

It’s not believable and it’s not possible.

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