Our minds go astray when we’re bored – a good thing because it prompts us to be more creative and look for new things.

87% of teenagers in the U.S. have a smartphone and presumably are on social media looking to scratch the itch of FOMO (fear of missing out).

The Academy of Management Studies did this experiment:

It drove its subjects into boredom by asking them to sort beans by color but a second group was given a less boring task.

Wouldn’t you know the bored out of their mind bean counters came up with better ideas when given their next assignment which was to come up with good excuses for tardiness.

I used to walk everywhere when I was a kid – I left my Walkman home and just fed my imagination which today is pretty healthy.

Boredom has its benefits.  It stimulates us into creativity.

Here’s that study.

Okay, I am a music business professor and I don’t have to be convinced of the many benefits of music therapy, but listen to this.

Music therapy is a potential intervention for cognition of Alzheimer’s Disease according to a study in the National Library of Medicine.

It turns out doing crossword puzzles is not the only way to fend off age related dementia.

Music therapy can be considered a non-pharmacological adjunct to reducing cognitive decline and “combination method with dance, art, video game, physical exercise, and so on is excitingly helpful. We should make a therapeutic strategy individually according to preference and physical endurance of every patient”.

Among the variations:  singing songs, listening to music to reduce mood symptoms and behavior disorders.  Here’s the study.

Combining music therapy with dance, physical exercise, video game, art and other things

is yet another benefit of music therapy that I plan to share with my NYU music business stress class this fall because the benefits are accrued at any age.

Music is not only the soundtrack of our lives; it is life itself.

Stanford psychologist Walter Mischel offered a choice of a marshmallow or pretzel stick to a child (their preference) and then left the room for 15 minutes.

In follow-up studies (SAT scores, educational attainment, body mass and other things), children who could wait longer and delay gratification were shown to have better life outcomes.

Today we’re bombarded with FOMO (fear of missing out), attention addictions and relationship challenges caused by digital devices.

The takeaway is the more we can learn to delay gratification, the happier we are.

If you measure happiness like billionaire Ray Dalio of Bridgewater hedge fund, then his words may resonate with you:

“Once you realize that deferred gratification will improve you, you begin to count and say how many days, months, weeks, or years can I live if I don’t spend the money I have coming in”.

The ability to defer gratification is directly associated with happiness and financial success.

Diana Nyad tried to swim in the shark infested waters between Havana and Key West several times when she was younger but just couldn’t do it.

But she didn’t give up and tried later in life when she succeeded at the age of 64.

Now 73, Nyad recalls when she completed the endurance swim, she shouted never give up.

Ageism seems to be the one form of discrimination that we tolerate but this isn’t just the story of an outstanding older athlete, it’s about young people who are often dismissed because of their age.

I see this all the time in the college classroom where my students who are smarter than ever and ready to succeed must face the doubts of others because of their relative youth.

Nyad does 1,000 burpees a day (click here to see what a burpee is) – it takes her over 2 hours but she says she makes the time for it every day of the week.

Proving once again that the best way to overcome ageism at any age is accomplishment.

The worst thing to say to someone who is clearly in a bad mood is I know how you must feel.

No, you don’t.

Chin up.

Not that easy.

Things will get better.

Easy for you to say.

So, what do you do?

Ask for advice, get the other person to help you with something.

We humans love to be asked for advice – it makes us feel good, useful, sometimes even happy.

Staying busy is the special sauce to deal with the blues and helping another person get busy by asking for advice is mutually beneficial.

In one of my music business classes, we start with a few music videos that students chose which represent how they are feeling or what to feel.

On the last day of class, we watched an Aretha Franklin video suggested by a Gen Z student that almost turned the room into a raucous live venue.

I’ve always said it is hard to be depressed playing music in a radio studio (until the boss walks in, that is).

Music as background noise is one thing – as a choice matched to feelings is another.

This is a tough world we live in but music is a cure all when the music matches how we feel.

We have a therapist for problems, a med for disorders and there’s a song to choose for joy.

Listening is the number one way to make people like you – none other than the great master of human relations, Dale Carnegie said so.

But we live the age of everyone talking – and few bother to stop and make the conversation reciprocal.

This is partially due to our addiction to social media and chat.

On the first day of a new class, almost everyone is seated, on their phones, looking down and oblivious to anyone around them and yet young people wish they could make more friends.

At the end of last semester, a student asked me to allow time for students to introduce themselves to each other – what a great idea that I am stealing for September.

To make a friend, ask questions and listen – it’s not sexy advice, but it works every time.

Or, as Nilsson sang:

Everybody’s talkin’ at me
I don’t hear a word they’re sayin’
Only the echoes of my mind

Bruce Cassidy, a successful NHL hockey coach won the Stanley Cup one year to the day when he was fired by his former team, The Boston Bruins — his bosses were dissatisfied  with his coaching even though he had a winning record.

I believe they said his coaching approach had a negative impact on certain players, especially the younger ones.

Oops.

John Stevens had his playing career come to an end when he suffered an eye injury so he coached and won at the minor league level, made the playoffs at the pro level and has three rings as assistant coach of championship teams – most recent with Bruce Cassidy mentioned above.

The toughest thing to do is keep believing in yourself when adversity strikes but if you don’t believe in you, how can you ask anyone else to?

Believe and achieve in addition to what has to be overcome.

For those who care to make life, products, services and art for people they will never meet – yes, radio broadcasters, too – Steve Jobs had a pertinent thought about that in 2007 four years before he died.

“There’s lots of ways to be, as a person. And some people express their deep appreciation in different ways. But one of the ways that I believe people express their appreciation to the rest of humanity is to make something wonderful and put it out there.

“And you never meet the people. You never shake their hands. You never hear their story or tell yours. But somehow, in the act of making something with a great deal of care and love, something’s transmitted there. And it’s a way of expressing to the rest of our species our deep appreciation. So we need to be true to who we are and remember what’s really important to us.”

One of the “stretching” exercises we do in my NYU music business stress class is to forgive others.

If you’re tempted to say a person who hurt you doesn’t deserve forgiveness, remember you are doing this for yourself and your good mental health

Researchers found that regardless of age, those who could forgive reduced their own stress.

And it helps you ruminate less which helps reduce psychological disorders.

Some people do it in anger, others ruminate to the point of depression – some anxiously.

So as difficult as it sounds, forgiving someone who hurt you is one of the more effective responses for improving mental health.

Forgiving does not mean forgetting but learning to let go of anger and pain is a gift to you and it ensures that you will never be like the person you are forgiving.

So, who are you going to forgive this week?