I am only needy when I choose to rely on someone else instead of first believing in myself.

Here are some in the arsenal of positivity quotes I focus on when I need an extra boost of confidence:

• I earned the right to do it.
• I didn’t get to where I am today without working hard for it.
• I’m authentic and I’m going to prove it.
• I’ve done it before and I can do it again.
• I believe (Self-doubt kills more dreams than failure).
• If I’m worried about how I may look, I’ll add a smile as the finishing touch.
• Butterflies are normal, I’m not going to get rid of them, I’m going to get those butterflies to fly in formation.

• Do you notice how often people say the word “right” today when explaining themselves or trying to convince you of something – “It’s the biggest problem of our time, right?”
• No is the most valuable word in the dictionary because it gives us the courage it takes to say yes when we really mean it.

• Often parents feel badly about not spending enough quality time with the kids so they increase the amount and not the quality and by quality, I mean person-to-person connection.
• The amount of time you spend with people you really care about is irrelevant. It’s the time spent being present and 100% focused on them without distraction that matters most.

Seth Godin has a different way of looking at yourself:

• “If you had a manager that talked to you the way you talked to you, you’d quit. If you had a boss that wasted as much of your time as you do, they’d fire her. If an organization developed its employees as poorly as you are developing yourself, it would soon go under.”
• The best way to become a better manager at home or at work is to be kind to yourself, invest in your potential and never doubt your confidence.

• Staying busy won’t eliminate every worry but it will slow them down.
• There are two ways to put the brakes on worry – one is to get busy doing something for others that requires you to focus as much on them as possible.
• The other way is to stay busy doing something you like that gets your mind off of the worry-of-the-moment so you can lose yourself in something all encompassing.
• Time outs work – when they’re done with the focus on someone or something else, the benefit is the greatest.

• Too much work, too many things to do, too much multitasking.
• Our lives have become one giant attempt to multitask and while doing multiple things at once is possible, it is also stressful.
• Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you can’t do it — it means you should find another way to do it or get to know our best friend – no.
• We have more tools than ever to take on more things but now it’s time to get serious about prioritizing and living a less stressful life.
• Stress is caused by others with an assist from ourselves.

• This self-inflicted form of harm serves no purpose.
• Many people beat themselves up even before their work is not accepted or their suggestions haven’t even been given the time to be considered.
• There is a better way to stop second guessing yourself – assume your work and thoughts are just as good as everyone else’s which, of course, they are.
• Beating yourself up amounts to anticipation that your efforts could eventually be rejected – instead, own them and make no apologies (especially in advance).

• A recent German study showed the positive effects of either giving up your smartphone or (and this is fascinating) reducing its use by one hour a day – in fact, that was better than abstinence for months at a time.
• The one-hour less a day group was still using their phones less — 45 minutes a day — four months later.
• Plus, improved life satisfaction, more exercise and less depression, anxiety and nicotine use – all from one hour a day less on your smartphone.
• A reminder that we really do control our phones, they don’t own us.

• For every new stressor that you can viscerally feel, eliminate one that you are already carrying around.
• Finding one to let go of will not be easy because stress tends to pile onto other stresses but take a moment and identify one you could live without right now.
• It may be one that has been hanging around too long and burdening you, or a new one that gives you anxiety.
• For each new stressor life brings, subtract one and see how it is possible to live without it.

•  Instead of thinking about how time is flying by, they fill their minds with thoughts of all they can do to advance every new day.

• I always had a hard time with this until I experienced those who were literally living day to day because of their precarious health issues.

• If they can find anticipated happiness a day at a time, what’s our excuse?

• It’s not the amount of time we spend, but the amount of time we spend focused on that which makes us happy.

• To have enough confidence to take on something totally new, it helps to have a list of past successes to scroll through – on a piece of paper or on a phone.
• High confidence is directly related to I.O.U.s that we collect from other successes both major and even minor.
• Forgetting our successes leaves us worrying about the unknown challenge ahead – and for some reason humans remember mistakes more than successes.
• If it’s worth 100% of your being, it’s likely you will overcome the fear of something new.

• The courage to be you – speak your thoughts, defend healthy boundaries and safeguard your values.
• But also, the confidence to respect others and hear them out showing them the respect you would want from them.

• The benefit of not getting what you want – you worked hard for or simply desire – is that it forces you to decide just how badly you want it.

• If you’re disappointed, hurt or discouraged but stay in pursuit, you must really want it.

• If you’re able to accept defeat, then perhaps there is something else that is more important to you.

• The gift of hearing no is how it helps us discover yes.

• The sure way to never be disappointed is to keep your motivation high and expectations low.

• In my NYU music business classes, we try to emphasize the importance of both making a life and a living and we’re concentrating on the untapped powers we all have.

• The ability to lead – step forward and take a chance.

• The power to make other people happy by being in our presence or as one learner said “when my eyes smile, they smile”.

• The strength to enforce healthy boundaries and stop letting others make us feel badly about what we do.

• Potential is already within; the challenge is to begin to use it.

• In sports, life’s teacher, we see again and again what happens when you get off to a great start only to be surprised by a person or event that can completely undo our progress.
• The best way to protect a lead in any area of life is to press hard to continue doing what got you that lead – do not let down.
• Play from behind as if you’re catching up not protecting what you’ve accomplished.
• Success comes only when you’ve earned the entire victory not when you can only taste it.

• It’s hard to do because our beliefs are tied closely to our identity.
• There are two things that almost everyone can agree on: hurting others is bad and trying to be fair is good.
• And that attacking others because of their beliefs only makes them harden their position more.
• A willing listener and a person schooled in good human relations skills is best suited to deal with views opposing theirs and keep the lines of communication open.

• My NYU music business students also practice human relations skills to give them a leg up on life and their careers.
• This past week several reported to the class that they gathered up the courage to put themselves out there and break the ice with another person.
• The result: feeling good about reaching out and making new friends (in one case, a promising new friend).
• The power we all have within us to make a difference in our lives and those of others is when we channel the courage to go first.

• The most comforting words are no words at all.
• Being there to listen is your gift to give and your awesome power.