Approval and acceptance are what people crave the most.
We all want it.
In meetings, in families, in relationships.
That’s why being able to sincerely parcel out acts and words of approval and acceptance is the secret sauce to winning the cooperation of others and making friends.
Criticism and rejection even if well-meaning is counter-productive.
The one who dishes out unconditional approval and acceptance is the leader.
Times are challenging but not impossible.
Continue to raise your spirits and of those around you.
This is our hidden power of working through adversity.
Our brains are like sponges.
They soak up everything they hear and see whether it is positive or negative.
So, allowing others to have direct access into your psyche is dangerous.
Take charge of what you let in by thinking of your mind as a recording device that repeats what it hears over and over again unless you specifically tell it no.
No criticism.
No insults.
No thoughts that limit your possibilities from others or yourself.
You can’t control what is said, but you can control what repeats in your subconscious.
Obsessing over how good you are is a waste of time.
Everyone has more than enough going for them.
It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, it’s how you play them.
Broadcasters have used built-in delays to protect the public against unsavory aspects of live programming for years.
The 7 second delay is something that can work for us as well in our fast-moving digital world.
Pause 7 seconds before responding in real time to a text or email message and protect against putting a first thought as a final thought.
Usually, the first idea is our worst idea – delaying a response even for as little as 7 seconds and perhaps more if possible makes us a better, more sensitive communicator.
If I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.
Something positive is overdue to happen.
I am so bitterly disappointed that I want to give up.
This means take some time off to see why one thing can make you so miserable before committing to pursuing it again.
I tried so hard and still didn’t succeed.
Not getting what you want is a gift. It makes you question how badly you really want it and whether you want it so badly you’ll keep trying.
I failed in a friendship or relationship.
The most important relationship we can have starts with ourselves – work on that and you will most assuredly attract people for if you don’t love yourself, how can you ask someone else to?
Disappointment is not an excuse for quitting – it’s an opportunity to recommit.
Receive these DayStarters for free every day here.
Forward this email to family and friends and feel free to post to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media.
Read sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages at no cost here.
I was fired from my first job in commercial radio when, as a stressed-out college student attending classes by day and working on-the-air all-night, I dozed for a minute between records and the record tracked through – yes, the boss was up and listening at 3 am.
I’ll never work again – I’m ruined before I start.
But my next job was in TV for the local ABC affiliate – a job I would never have gotten if I hadn’t first been fired.
The program director who let me go taught me a valuable lesson and was a role model for when I eventually became a program director – I adore him to this day.
It’s not always the end of the world when you get fired, it’s more often the beginning of a new one.
Receive these DayStarters for free every day here.
Forward this email to family and friends and feel free to post to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media.
Read sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages at no cost here.
In nature, animals become like their surroundings.
The rattlesnake even looks like its environment as a protection from larger prey.
Humans also become like those they are around for better or for worse.
Our ethics, morals, beliefs and desires are influenced by those with whom we keep company.
Be friends with people you respect and admire because you’re more likely to assume their traits by unconscious assimilation.
Receive these DayStarters for free every day here.
Forward this email to family and friends and feel free to post to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media.
Read sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages at no cost here.
Confidence is not loud or boisterous.
Nor is a strong ego to be confused with confidence.
Real confidence is often silent, strong, principled and gracious.
Receive these DayStarters for free every day here.
Forward this email to family and friends and feel free to post to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media.
Read sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages at no cost here.
Erik Seidel is arguably the best poker player ever and is in the Poker Hall of Fame.
But he doesn’t count cards – he observes his opponent’s behavior.
Erik Seidel remains on top because his style of play is a psychological one based less on mathematical outputs and more on understanding the human element according to the Maria Konnikova, author of The Biggest Bluff.
To learn the intentions of others, look to the other side of silence not necessarily what they say.
Receive these DayStarters for free every day here.
Forward this email to family and friends and feel free to post to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media.
Read sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages at no cost here.
Bad luck may be saving us from something far worse.
“You never can tell whether bad luck may not after all turn out to be good luck…One must never forget when misfortunes come that it is quite possible they are saving one from something much worse; or that when you make some great mistake, it may very easily serve you better than the best-advised decision.” — Winston Churchill “ My Early Life,” 1930
Receive these DayStarters for free every day here.
Forward this email to family and friends and feel free to post to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media.
Read sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages at no cost here.
Our happiness seems to come back to one thing.
Not how lucky or unlucky we are but how we deal with adversity.
Happiness is born of adversity because happy people tend to face their problems when they occur.
Rather than wishing problems away, take steps to deal with adversity and develop the optimism that comes from being proactive.
Receive these DayStarters for free every day here.
Forward this email to family and friends and feel free to post to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media.
Read sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages at no cost here.
New York Presbyterian Columbia University Hospital has found that when able, if a patient walks into an operating room for surgery instead of being wheeled in on a gurney they will recover sooner.
In every other way, too, actions don’t just speak louder than words, they send an even more powerful subliminal message directly to your brain that you expect to succeed.
If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.
Most people have no problem articulating all their shortcomings – after all, they’ve probably heard them from the lips of others.
Rerunning negative thoughts over again produces more negative thoughts.
Flip that.
What are you good at? Why do people trust you? What is the chief advantage you have as a person?
For the rest of this day – double down on them.
They are real, true, sources of great pride and a master motivator to unlocking other strengths – the ones you didn’t even know you have.
If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.
My accountant was a negative guy with whom to play golf.
He would hit the ball straight and far down the fairway and then as he was choosing his next club, he would say “on in 2 and 3 putts”. For those who don’t play golf, if you’re on the green in two shots, you would not even think you would need three putts to hole out.
He played down to his negativity.
I hope he didn’t say “here’s your tax bill, now multiple it by 3 and you’re good”. Of course not.
Self-sabotage is the worst kind of negativity and yet we all do it either out of fear, or I believe lack of confidence.
If we can’t stay positive on ourselves, how can we expect others to treat us that way.
If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.
Rick Allen, the heavy metal rock band Def Leppard’s drummer, didn’t want to be near people when he had an auto accident in 1984 that caused his left arm to be amputated.
He asked his brother for his stereo while in the hospital and it was then that he realized that he might still be able to play the drums as a one-armed drummer.
Allen continued to play with the band during its most commercially successful period.
What he learned was that he could no longer compare himself to others.
That he is unique and can only be compared to Rick Allen.
There’s someone better, smarter, more attractive, funnier, richer and on and on but in the end it doesn’t really matter.
Like Rick Allen, compare yourself to you and only you to see the real growth that keeps you motivated.
If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.
Wait 5 seconds before you answer in person.
10 seconds before rereading a text before hitting send.
Always re-read email before sending.
If the mail is emotional or contentious, wait 12 hours, re-read it and chances are you will not send it (just writing it may have done the job for you without the acrimony that is sure to follow).
Effective communicators listen or read before attempting a response.
If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.
Stress, anxiety, fear and worry get compounded as we face each new day as we hold on to the previous day’s problems.
Here’s how a one-day vacation from all that works:
The toughest part is recognizing the building anxiety as it is happening but as you do, push it off until tomorrow.
When you resume worrying, being fearful again, being down with anxiety and stress, your one-day vacation will provide a fresh look at problems.
Some will go away. Some will remain, but training the brain to take a short break from emotional distress is an act of personal kindness you deserve.
If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.
When companies succeed and wish to keep that success going, they often play it safe and imitate what they are doing that is working.
A radio station that rises to the top and knocks off competitors usually doubles down on what they did to get there.
Same is true of individuals.
When we succeed, we get overly cautious and reduce risk by keeping things exactly the same.
The thing is imitating yourself is the antithesis of success.
What got you to the top of your game will not keep you there.
Taking chances, trying something new and even disrupting your approach is probably what earned you success in the first place.
If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.
When we hop on the Peloton machine or start a brisk workout, we push ourselves to build strength (remember “no pain, no gain”).
With Peloton or the new Mirror, users can compete with others in real-time and get coaching (even shouting) to help reach new levels of fitness.
For some reason when we want to build emotional strength (better self-esteem, more confidence, etc.), the mental workout is weak.
Just as in physical fitness, emotional fitness requires getting out of our comfort zone and someone to push us again and again to break the habits that have been resulting in weak emotional intelligence.
To be more confident, acting it out in real-time is more effective than talking about it first (studies have proven this).
There is no emotional growth without producing a stretch first.
If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.