Do something new every day.

Studies confirm that the brain becomes more engaged and creates positive pathways when you do something new every day – it doesn’t have to be big, but it could be as long as it is new.

Talk to someone you don’t know.

Take a different path to where you’re going this day. 

Break habits by creating a new one even just one day. 

Keep a log on your phone because it’s even invigorating to scroll through your new initiatives.

Emmy-winning TV reporter and cancer survivor Lu Ann Cahn has written “I Dare Me”about how she rebooted and recharged her life.

It turns out getting unstuck is as simple as doing something new – anything. 

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My friend Robert Fox recently put together a list of qualities about what is involved in developing a friendship.

1. Compatible personalities
2. Shared values
3. Respect
4. History
5. Warmth and affection (the most essential)

No clicks, likes, follows or texts alone can substitute for the qualities that contribute to a lasting relationship.

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Let’s be honest here, there is no magic formula for fixing a day gone wrong.

But there are options, good options.

Here are my 5 best.

Hit restart – work hard to push the bad luck out of your mind and make a clean beginning. 

Divert your attention to someone worse off than you (i.e., you may be getting a bad case of the flu, but what about the person who has 3 months to live?).

Get with the person who makes you happiest and let them do their thing while you vow not to bring them down.

Recall a previous day that went beyond your expectations as a way to balance your current bad day with a really good one. 

And the one thing that has never failed – get your mind off of you for the rest of the day and totally on someone else. 

Our egos often help to make a bad day worse, so eliminate the ego.

Tomorrow will be better.

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The TV detective Columbo was a shrewd but rumpled detective who wore a shabby raincoat, smoked cigars and seem inept to the suspects who committed a crime.

He seemed stupid at times, asking questions – pausing and asking one more almost as if to confirm that he was not very bright.

It’s the other way around in life, people who talk to show you what they know are actually wasting time that could be used in listening and getting smarter.

I worked for a radio program director named Paul Drew who used to put a sharpie in his mouth (not recommended) after he pummeled me with endless questions.

One day I said, “Chief, why are you asking me this? You already know it.”  His reply was “You’re going to make me smarter if I listen and keep my mouth shut.”

You’ve heard the saying that God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we ought to listen twice as much as we speak.

Even better, ask questions, don’t make statements and you will outsmart the many people who can’t.

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Self-confidence comes from achievements not talk.

People who are very successful are often full of themselves but we tolerate it because they have achieved something important and/or made a lot of money.

But money is not a marker for confidence.

We believe in the pilot of our flight to get us to our destination safely.

What if the pilot didn’t have the same belief?

In our lives if we don’t or for some reason won’t believe in us, why should we expect anyone else to?

And once we have secured the confidence in our abilities, no one can take them away.

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In the digital age friendships are being reduced to short texts, quick calls or social media’s dispassionate engagement and that’s not helpful.

Face time in person focused on the other person is the better goal.

Any person who makes focused time for you is worth keeping. 

A person who brags about how many friends they have doesn’t need at least one of them – you.   

A disagreement between the right people with the goal of resolving it is an opportunity for an even richer friendship.  A pearl is created from the irritation of sand. 

Friends who fail to stay in touch on a regular basis are not only busy but not available to be friends. 

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Create an atmosphere of approval and acceptance.

Everyone craves approval and acceptance.  It’s a wonder why we withhold it so much.

How would you like to be treated?

That what we are is good enough at the least and maybe even better than that.

The feeling that we are believed.

The person who has the capability of sincerelyoffering approval and acceptance to others, will gain their confidence in the most meaningful way.

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Give them support instead.

Who likes criticism? Who is more motivated after they hear what’s wrong with them and with their ideas?

I know what you’re thinking. What if they (or you) really want guidance?

Then give guidance – positive steps that support not criticize.

I’ll bet you whoever invented constructive criticism never wanted to hear it.

Because criticism is not constructive.

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That’s true not only of merchandise and services but ideas and concepts.

If you have a great idea for your team, spend much of your effort into getting them to buy it from you rather than have you sell it to them. 

If you have a daughter or son who could benefit from your wisdom, don’t push it, get them to buy it from you.

Buy-in is everything. 

The control that people spend so much time chasing after is nothing compared to allowing someone to willfully arrive at your way of thinking.

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When everything goes right, we expect it to continue.

When everything goes wrong, we know it will continue.

Ending failure thoughts that haunt us is as simple as saying no to the fear of failure.

It’s not about big egos or overwhelming confidence.

Failure thoughts can bring a super confident person down quickly.

It’s about betting on yourself.

You may in fact fail, screw up at the highest level, be a victim of bad luck or circumstances but you will absolutely and positively never trash yourself not even for a second.

Nothing that is worth a person’s time or energy is worth harboring fear-driven thoughts of not succeeding.

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There are more solutions than problems you can think of.

For every problem, there isn’t just one possible solution, but many.

The trick is to immediately start focusing on all the possiblesolutions and not reiterating the problem over and over in so many different words.

Knowing there are more solutions than problems we could have, gives confidence and reassurance that our big dilemma is not the problem itself but choosing which one of the many solutions will solve it.

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Take Eagles wide receiver Alshon Jeffery.

He literally dropped a perfect pass that would likely have completed a victorious comeback in a recent NFL playoff game against the New Orleans Saints.

He was so distraught, the team lifted him up reminding Jeffery that the Eagles would not have won the Super Bowl last year without him.

Still, how do you live with yourself when you let others down?

Let’s consult a West Chester second grader who wrote the prescription in a letter to him.

Take notes.

I love you!  (Don’t start hating on yourself) 

My whole family was rooting for you!  (Someone has your back)

Don’t give up on playing football,” she wrote. “Keep practicing. Don’t get mad easily, I know you can do it. We all know you are a good player.” (Learn from your mistake and don’t give up).

Alshon Jeffery was so impressed with this advice, he made a surprise visit to Abigail’s second grade class because in this case, Abigail had the wisdom to know what we should all do when for whatever reason we drop the ball letting ourselves and others down.

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Haters use love to get to people giving compliments one moment and then overreacting the next.

It seems the world is full of haters because we are so connected on digital devices and in real time.

The best way to handle a hater is not to be one.

Not even to get back at them when they do something hurtful.

Dislike the deed not the person. 

Forgive, but don’t forget.

Take control of the one narrative that matters most – the life you want to live.

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We’re not born with self-control.

If we’re lucky others show us by example or we develop it on our own.

Reminding yourself when you have resisted reacting instead of responding helps build and reinforce the confidence to keep inappropriate anger in its place.

Focus on what’s being done right.

Anger is appropriate when it expresses a feeling without hurt.

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It’s not what other people think that holds us back.

It’s how we look at ourselves.

But that person is not you.

What you are today is you.

More important than failing to become that which you are not is to never stop trying.

No one perfect lives on this earth.

Be the fine person you are.

Don’t look to anyone else to tell you that.

Look at yourself favorably and others will do the same.

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Chasing happiness is like trying to net a butterfly – better to let it come to you.

Even the worst day can be followed by the next better day. 

The more it hurts, the more it helps to be grateful (especially for little things).

Fear of something bad drags us down, but evidence proves our fears are ill-conceived 99% of the time – and the 1% doesn’t happen the way we feared it. 

You can catch another person’s bad mood or negativity with regular exposure to them – run.

Fulfillment translates into happiness – set a goal each day and accomplish it because the feeling of accomplishment soothes a lot of unhappy thoughts. 

Stress is a killer – of relationships, happiness, health – so practice letting go of trying to control what is out of control and you will finally be in control.

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The New York Times tech writer Farhad Manjoo turned to meditation.

Escaping the digital world with app blockers, heightened self-control or even going offline doesn’t work in a world driven by digital connectivity.

There’s meditation that Manjoo says actually helps him to not care as much about the commotion in the digital world and makes him nicer, refreshed and more focused.

There’s heeding to this important warning signal.

If you’re reaching for your phone, the conversation you’re in is not holding your interest.

If you are with a person you care about but you are constantly checking your phone, you don’t care about them as much as you think.

If you’re lost in the black hole of Instagram, Facebook, SnapChat or social media, you need to jump start a new life in real time.

The phone is not going away – it shapes what we see, hear, how we interact, our commerce, everything.

When losing your life to a mobile device, it is time to reexamine the life you are living.

That may be the best gift you’ve ever gotten from a smartphone.

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The thing about courage is that everyone has it.

No one can give it to you.

It comes from within and you didn’t get this far without it.

Knowing that helps but how to get a boost of extra courage when it is needed?

Banish failure thoughts.

Replay images in your mind’s eye of times when you rose to the occasion even against all odds.

Courage is your gift to get after you help another person to awaken theirs.

Just saying the word courage or repeating it silently in your subconscious activates your full life’s worth of courageous actions ready for the next challenge.

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Overthinking takes a good idea and makes it a weaker one.

Simplicity is better than overthinking.

When you’re not happy taking a good idea and making it succeed then you are overthinking.

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Calm is the answer to busy.

Busy doesn’t mean productive – it often spells bouts of increased anxiety topped off by a feeling that important things are still not getting done and another round of anxiety follows.

Calm is a word we don’t hear much these days.

Calm is also a key component to dealing with stress.

Nick Foles, the unlikely Super Bowl MVP last year for the Philadelphia Eagles tries to act as a calming force instilling confidence and security in his players.

Creating an atmosphere where admitting mistakes comes easy.

Doing the right thing is the ultimate decider of how to use valuable time.

To gain the quality of being calm, practice on others by showing them how you can calm down a situation and help instill confidence in them.

It’s true multitasking will make you feel busy and focusing too much on digital devices will make you feel overwhelmed and under pressure.  But simply cutting these things out will not work.

Develop calm in others and you will develop calm in yourself.

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