The one thing that must never happen is to allow another person to cross over our boundaries.

Boundaries are the things that matter to us and constitute the essence of our being – our values, our ethics, our morals.

Some people have a way of pushing these boundaries and sometimes they inappropriately cross over them.  That’s when it’s time to defend.

Rule 1:  No one may cross your boundaries.  No one, no matter and particularly how close to you their relationship may be.

Rule 2:  If they do, their efforts will be pushed back.

Rule 3:  Continued attempts to violate your boundaries will lead to a suspension and eventual end of your relationship and the abuse.

Rule 4:  Set up an imaginary virtual boundary on the values, ethics and morals that make us who we want to be (a mind picture).  Then when another person gets uncomfortably close to your boundaries, send a strong message that you will walk away from that kind of behavior if it doesn’t stop immediately.  If it continues, you must act.

Sexual harassment.  Verbal and elder abuse.  Abuse that results from drinking, drugs or other extenuating circumstances are serious violations of your airspace.

But things that make us feel badly about ourselves and disrespect for our personal boundaries also constitute violations of individual boundaries and should be terminated.

Employers and coworkers who degrade, manipulate or blatantly disrespect us are also abusers and their efforts can lead to a diminution of self-esteem and confidence.

Fortunately most people largely respect the boundaries of others, but for the odd person who knows no boundaries, it is our responsibility to recognize the intrusion, stop it and end the relationship if necessary.

This is also an important thing to teach children who are particularly vulnerable.

 “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt

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