Politicians aren’t the only ones promising change.

Products make the same promise (remember “New Coke”).

When the new boss comes in and promises to shake things up, everyone gets nervous and they hardly ever win the enthusiastic cooperation of others.

When we promise a spouse, or friend that we will change our ways, we are taking on a task that is almost impossible to deliver on.

People want things to be better, not to change.

This means that if we want to be a better parent, we don’t have to turn over a new leaf, we only have to do something better (i.e., be a better listener, non-judgmental).

With our spouses and partners we don’t have to undertake a transformation that will make us this other person we probably don’t even want to be.

Just pick something between the two of you and make it better.

Focusing on being a better person in small but meaningful ways is the transformative change that makes a difference.

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