Filmmaker and writer Marlowe Granados (interviewed in Town & Country) says “While the 1960s brought us the exhortation to “turn on, tune in, and drop out” the motto of the roaring 2020s may very well be” “slow down, log off, opt out”.

One of the things we are discovering most since the pandemic started winding down is the need for planned, structured and positive relaxation routines – getting the most out of downtime.

Purposeful relaxation is in your hands – being in the moment, connecting the mind and body and that’s different from bingeing on Netflix, playing video games or taking a nap.

Turn off autopilot, enter the here and now.

Postpone working your to-do list until after you relax as opposed to worrying about it when you’re trying to focus on downtime.

Talk to others 100% focused on them.

Sense your surroundings and enjoy the sensations that have been taken for granted.

Life is tough and rest is necessary but purposeful relaxation is totally in your control.

The best way to gauge whether you had a happy and successful Memorial Day weekend holiday is by the number of minutes you did not spend on mobile devices and in the black hole of social media.

Initiate something new – anything big or small.

Hang with someone different.

Reconnect with nature and those around you face to face.

Spending a holiday weekend without changing your routine is a missed opportunity to discover a new one.

A little infant in our arms brings out the wonder and inhibition of being a child even to the most dignified person.

After all, they are born happy until the real world somehow makes them sadder.

One of many gifts we get from the young is to treat other people in our lives with the animation, smile, laugh and love that is so easy to give a newborn or toddler.

Be the one to light up the face of others and you’ll see (and feel) the difference immediately.

One of my readers, Frank Somma says he gave a personal mission seminar at Collier school in Morganville NJ which is a special school for high school sophomore and juniors  with emotional difficulties – he was talking about the idea of the voice in your head being too harsh.

There was a girl in the seminar all dressed in black with her hood up and face down.

She didn’t appear to be paying attention at all.

At the end of the seminar, she shyly handed Frank a note and left.

When he read it, it said:

 “If you spoke to your friends the way you speak to yourself you would have no friends“.

Be nice to yourself.

A new study shows the average person feels good half the tine  – 2,000 adults polled recently in the UK say they only feel good mentally and physically 47% of the time.

Anxiety and exhaustion are among the culprits.

One in four say they feel anxious once a week.

Only 57% say they rarely feel at the “top of their game”.

Two-thirds are alright with suffering through the bad days, hoping for a better tomorrow.

Improving the chance for feeling better starts with making it a number one priority even over work, taking control of digital devices, social media and the scrolling black hole of apps and the internet.

Studies show it is possible to retrain the brain so consciously working for happier outcomes can become a healthy habit.

Followers will never become leaders.

Leaders will never become followers.

If you can stand the discomfort of being out ahead of the pack, followers will always follow you.

Criticizing yourself with or without the help of others demoralizes, hurts and does nothing to make anything better.

It’s impossible to stop others from criticizing us but we can certainly take a vow to have nothing to do with putting ourselves down.

If we can’t believe in ourselves the way we are and as hard as we try, how can we ask others to?

It’s not just the right emoji or a lot of words, it’s a feeling backed up by evidence.

This is the great and often unseen advantage of texting beyond chatting.

Giving thanks, showing gratitude with evidence to back it up can be a powerful phrase.

Texting unexpected gratitude is the perfect message.

Since the great reawakening, people are rushing to get back to full speed – sometimes at intersections or cutting folks off on the freeways and turnpikes.

That’s not the only thing we’re blowing through.

Increasing anxiety by not savoring our return to freedom by living in an accelerated state.

Some students don’t want to return to in person classes so they can watch the lectures at 2x or 3x the speed – skip the boring parts and hurry up and learn.

It’s not how much or how fast, it’s about now.

Students grade their professors anonymously at the end of each semester at NYU so I thought you’d like to see the comment I received on digital device usage in class.

• I really liked how the professor limited our technology use in class, although it was hard to get used to at first it was actually very good in helping us cope with overuse of technology and giving us all some “me” time.

Some “me” time, exactly!

The next time you are back in the presence of those you love and who love you, pretend that you haven’t seen them for a couple of weeks – then walk in and watch the reaction.

When you finish work and your kids return from school, greet them as if they’ve been away longer than a few hours and watch the magic of their response.

Capture the joy of reuniting with loved ones by treating them as if you’ve been apart.

Postponing joy can be terminal – agonize over the bad stuff, put off the good stuff.

And we all do it.

Some of my NYU colleagues and I have been working hard on putting together new courses that must then go through a long process of approval but the department head reminded us once the courses were approved to take some time and enjoy it.

I was already to go back to work on lesson plans but that reminder meant a lot.

Life is tough but when things go your way, don’t postpone the joy it brings.

It’s not Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or even TikTok, the current social media phenomenon.

It has nothing to do with anything you might say or do.

If you want people to be drawn to you, become a better listener.

It’s not taught in schools because only you can teach it to yourself.

Listen, question and summarize what you are hearing.

Ironically, it’s the listener not the talker who people like.

Stop and ask yourself where the most successful people in the world would have been if they stopped one step short of success.

Before you give up ask yourself this one question – how badly do I want it?

There you will find your motivation to proceed.

I am only needy when I choose to rely on someone else instead of first believing in myself.

Here are some in the arsenal of positivity quotes I focus on when I need an extra boost of confidence:

• I earned the right to do it.
• I didn’t get to where I am today without working hard for it.
• I’m authentic and I’m going to prove it.
• I’ve done it before and I can do it again.
• I believe (Self-doubt kills more dreams than failure).
• If I’m worried about how I may look, I’ll add a smile as the finishing touch.
• Butterflies are normal, I’m not going to get rid of them, I’m going to get those butterflies to fly in formation.

• Do you notice how often people say the word “right” today when explaining themselves or trying to convince you of something – “It’s the biggest problem of our time, right?”
• No is the most valuable word in the dictionary because it gives us the courage it takes to say yes when we really mean it.

• Often parents feel badly about not spending enough quality time with the kids so they increase the amount and not the quality and by quality, I mean person-to-person connection.
• The amount of time you spend with people you really care about is irrelevant. It’s the time spent being present and 100% focused on them without distraction that matters most.

Seth Godin has a different way of looking at yourself:

• “If you had a manager that talked to you the way you talked to you, you’d quit. If you had a boss that wasted as much of your time as you do, they’d fire her. If an organization developed its employees as poorly as you are developing yourself, it would soon go under.”
• The best way to become a better manager at home or at work is to be kind to yourself, invest in your potential and never doubt your confidence.