• Do the thing you fear to do and the fear will go away from you.
• Thought to put on repeat: 99% of what most people fear never happens.
• Fear thoughts are not active until we consciously or subconsciously activate them – you decide.
• What we fear is almost always worse than reality.

• The mind is like a sponge, when a friend or an employer exposes it to their stress, it becomes our stress.
• Often people suffer more from the stress handed out by others than that which is generated by themselves.
• Solution: Train to ask the question what price are you willing to pay for stress and anxiety – deal with the things that you must, throw off the anxiety that others send your way.

• Not living 100% in the present and focused on what and who is in front of you is living half your life.

• When you intentionally focus your attention, you are in charge of your experience.

• A Pennsylvania man just won his third lottery – not all winning tickets were for a lot of money but at least one was.
• He cautioned others not to do what he did because he has a self-confessed gambling addiction.
• 70% of lottery winners end up broke within 7 years.
• Winning the lottery can be fun but the evidence shows winning the lottery of gratitude is healthier, safer and rewarding in the way sheer money has proven not to be.

• “I truly, truly try to be better tomorrow than I was today. 
• And I mean better as simply a better human being, not a better actor, not a better anything, but just a better human being.
• That will please me well. And, when I die, I will not be afraid of having lived.”

• There are three things I remind my students of in the final session of each semester. 

• First, as Mother Theresa said there is more hunger for love than there is for bread. 

• And a reminder that Viktor Frankl who survived a World War II concentration camp was able to come away with faith in people even under those tremendously challenging circumstances. 

• Finally, that the road not taken is always the direction of choice regardless of fear or uncertainty.

• 3 ways to stay positive by choosing to see the upside of life.

• When that well-earned break finally arrives, don’t be surprised if it makes little difference.
• Making your own good luck is more focused, urgent and relevant to your situation.
• To get a break, make a break instead of waiting for something to happen.
• “No one is going to know or care about your failures, and neither should you. All you have to do is learn from them and those around you. All that matters in business is that you get it right once. Then everyone can tell you how lucky you are.” — Mark Cuban

• Millennials are described as the loneliest generation followed by Gen Z (30% of millennials say they always and often felt lonely compared to 20% for Gen X and 15% for Baby Boomers).
• More millennials reported in a survey that they had no acquaintances, friends, close friends or best friends – and this is from a generation connected to their phones and social media.
• Social isolation ends when the emphasis is placed on fewer but more meaningful friendships in which both sides are equally invested.
• Mitch Albom says, “The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.”

• I was disappointed to hear podcaster and entrepreneur Scott Galloway describe his looks in an unfavorable way the other day – he was brutal about himself.
• Then I saw a study of males who basically liked themselves younger, taller and thinner than they actually were – I’ll spare you the details, unless you absolutely must.
• What about personality, heart, conviction, honesty, empathy – where are these attributes at this moment in time?
• The cheapest improvement to any person’s looks is a smile – we don’t see a lot of them these days but they are irresistible and cheaper than surgery.

• The more you listen, the more people like you (even though many of us think the more we talk, the more they like us).
• Ask questions – immediately like swallowing a pill – others warm up to people who ask questions.
• Being in the present is good, but better turns out to be focusing on the other person in the present without distractions or the need to chime in with your opinion.
• Being likeable is being willing to let the other person do all the talking.

• Tom Taylor shares a quote from the newsletter of the Michener Art Museum in Doylestown, PA which is named for hometown hero James Michener probably knocked out on his typewriter (which is on display at the museum).
• “Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today, you can do it again tomorrow.”

• The late Hall of Fame football coach and beloved icon John Madden was larger than life even after winning a Super Bowl, starting a second and even more successful career in television and as an entrepreneur with his football game. 

• But he feared flying and for all those years as a commentator, he took the train and then the bus to the stadium even if it meant riding it cross country – he had used four different buses by the time his broadcasting career ended.

• Madden’s fear was claustrophobia – a condition that many people have but it allows us to see a great person for what he really is – human – it makes his life even more meaningful.

• What do you call a football coach who reached the Super Bowl 4 times and lost all four times?
• He won a ring with the Cowboys as an assistant coach and another as a player.
• You call him a successful coach – Dan Reeves died over the holiday unable to attain the ultimate dream of a pro football player but one of the most successful coaches in the American Football Conference as head coach of Denver.
• Perhaps a good time to reconsider the definition of success – the accomplishment of an aim.
• It’s up to us not to discard our own accomplishments because they got caught between the fine line of success and failure.

• My mother, Adele, never passed by a cemetery without saying something like “people are dying to go there” which may explain where I got my sense of humor.
• She would really love Betty White’s take who lived to within weeks of 100 and because of her fame and longevity faced numerous previous hoaxes about her premature demise.
• White a trailblazer for life also looked to her mother according to The Washington Post: “She would always say, ‘Nobody knows. People think they do — you can believe whatever you want to believe what happens at that last moment — but nobody ever knows until it happens.’ … Growing up, whenever we’d lose somebody, she’d always say, ‘Now they know the secret.’”
• “Tell them that at 90 there’s no need to get impatient,” she said in 2012 “I’m hurrying as best as I can.”
• Despite all the questions prompted by the beloved comedian’s extended golden years, Betty White who lived as full a life as possible wrote in her autobiography “I’ll be dying to find out”.

The Gift of Your Time

• Silly us – we’re running around looking for gifts to give this holiday season when the number one thing that people crave is free.
• Giving someone your time especially in our fast-paced digital world is the gift that means the most.
• Without distraction, 100% focused on them.
• Have you ever purchased a gift for someone that you just couldn’t wait for them to open? That’s the enthusiasm that you need to tie a bow around what could bring more happiness than the most expensive present.
• Rick Warren author of The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? says:  “Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money, but you can’t make more time.  
• ‘“When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.
• “Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is “T-I-M-E.”

Flush Away Loneliness

• Sociologist Philip Slater’s book The Pursuit of Loneliness came up with the term “Toilet Assumption”, the incorrect belief that undesirable feelings will disappear if they are ignored.
• The internet and social media are ways we can withdraw and live in isolation while assuming connection to others.
• The Loneliness Solution: balance the same amount of time you devote to virtual connection with actual connection – in person, talking on the phone, Zoom and to the extent that safety allows in-person interaction.
• What makes us content is to hear, see and experience joyful moments.

Enjoy Every Day

• Here is what 63-year-old Dan Doctoroff, a former New York City deputy mayor said upon receiving the diagnosis of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (A.L.S) commonly called Lou Gehrig’s disease which usually results in death within three to five years after symptoms appear (his father and uncle died of A.L.S).
• “I’ve always been incredibly ambitious. I’ve been very, very focused on goals. I don’t want to live my life that way anymore. I want to try and enjoy every day, and what’s important is being with family and friends.”
• He has only a 20% chance that his symptoms won’t turn into A.L.S. but a 100% chance that he will live the rest of his life focused on what is really important.

Second guessing is a bet against you

• We do it all the time sometimes out of insecurity but why be first in line to doubt yourself?
• Buying a lottery ticket is confidence that you’re going to win (and you pay for it) even though the odds are crazy against you.
• The owners of FanDuel aren’t going broke, they’re betting on a business to get users to lose some of their money.
• Here’s the sure thing: anything worth you doing is worth you believing in – to do less is to be first to sabotage yourself.

• The Philadelphia Flyers hockey team lost 10 games in a row resulting in their coach being fired, playoff hopes dinged and confidence sink to the lowest possible level.
• When we sense things going south, why can’t we turn it around? When everything in our lives goes well, good things are expected and they come easier.
• When adversity gets into our heads, we bear down, try harder, become obsessed with getting back on track.
• Fearing ups and downs makes things worse.
• Anticipating an upswing breeds resilience to endure.
• Think of a rollercoaster – it rises and then falls – again and again – and most people like it so much they wait in long lines to ride them again.
• Losing streaks are tests to see if we’re still believing in ourselves.

If you’re shy, try … 

• Focusing on other people doesn’t always require speaking.
• Ask questions, people who love to talk often think those asking questions are also conversing at the same level and they like it.
• Go first, break the ice – most other people are also shy and they appreciate your initiative.
• The quietest people are often the most persuasive – use your gift wisely.