14-year old Carleigh O’Connell is a Jersey Girl and thereby special to this Jersey Boy.
Unfortunately she was denigrated by bullies who made fun of her butt by spray painting “Carleigh’s Ass” on a cement abutment at the Jersey shore.
This is New Jersey – they’re going down.
Carleigh shows us the textbook way to stand up to such cowards by harnessing the power of social media.
She posted a photo in Facebook snapped with the graffiti in the picture and told her mom to post it as well.
Here’s what Carleigh’s mother wrote:
“[Carleigh] decided that she was going to be stronger than hurtful words on the concrete and that she was going to be proud of her figure … She also told me that she feels complete sympathy for the teenagers across the country who face this everyday. She understands and wants all of them to find strength inside to rise above the nastiness and be empowered by who you are, how you are made and what is in your heart”.
Many commenters said they wish they had Carleigh’s butt.
Isn’t Carleigh beautiful?
Isn’t she smart?
Not so fast, Jerry.
Any good rating system is based on negotiated criteria. For example, a restaurant is rated on food, service, atmosphere, etc. These are the “expectations” you have about a restaurant when you rate it. Both you and the owner would agree.
The same can’t be said of relationships – where most “expectations” are NOT negotiated.
As a result of these non-negotiated expectations – such as “you should know what I want” or “it’s common sense to do that” – people judge (rate) each other unfairly all the time. At home and at work.
So, Jerry, when your spouse rates you, I hope the criteria list is negotiated and agreed on. We write about how to understand this behavior in our blog at http://www.btmgmt.net.
John Parikhal