There isn’t one thing we can do to be more popular, more desired at work or more loved in life that is more effective than to become a better listener.

Not one thing.

Some people have it in their DNA to be good listeners.

The rest of us need to work on it because it makes all the difference in the world.

• Talk less.  When we’re talking we can’t listen as intently.
• Respond to what you hear instead of going off on your own version of the story.
• Ask questions and actually listen to the responses.
• Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
• Catch yourself every time you use the words “me” or “I” – self-absorption never sits well with others.
• Repeat that which you want to remember two times in your mind for the best chance of remembering it.
• When the other person is interrupted, burn into your brain the last thing that they said at the time they were interrupted by someone other than you so when they lose their place, you can show how intently you were listening by reminding them where they left off.

Even improving in one of the above areas begins to make a difference.

In a self-absorbed world it’s easy to get away with talking about yourself and that which interests you.

But for the many benefits that come from being a good listener, remember that we were given only one mouth but two ears – the better to use them.

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