I thought you’d like to hear about this interesting moment I had with a classroom full of NYU students recently –- as you’ll see, they finally agree to a person what they would be enthusiastic about doing to gain control of their digital devices.

• I asked how many were happy with how they use their digital devices – 50% were (seems like the world is divided even here).
• I proposed a question that could be asked every time they are tempted to spend more time on their devices.
• The question: “How will this device, app, more screen time and additional social media make me happier or better off? 

• Some want to gain more control and redirect their time to interacting with others and some want to make sure they don’t build a bigger bubble in which to be further removed from real time.

It’s rare to get agreement especially among young people who have never not had a digital life to ask the benefits first before plunging ahead.

People are surprised to learn that the brain is not responsible for your unhappiness.

• The brain was wired to protect our prehistoric relatives from being eaten alive or otherwise put in danger.
• The caveperson was in a sense the first to experience the birth of “fight or flight”.
• Today, our phones trip the “fight or flight” mechanism in our head all day long and we wonder why we’re not happy – it’s the same wiring for the digital age.
• Brains can be retrained through the embrace of gratitude and positivity that we can teach it.

We didn’t do anything wrong if we’re sad or down.  We were born on alert for danger so the cure is rather painless.

That’s how the ageless Rolling Stones started their hit “Mother’s Little Helper” and today Mick Jagger is 80, they have a new album out that is surprising the industry and a tour can’t be far behind.

• Bandmember Keith Richards says “We age not by holding onto youth, but by letting ourselves grow and embracing whatever youthful parts remain”.
• Jagger may have lived the life of a rock star with all that it encompasses but now he’s a health advocate influenced by his Phys-Ed instructor dad – here is his routine.
• Ageism is the one form of discrimination that people somehow have embraced these days but it is worth ignoring and pursing the still-possible.
• Ageism isn’t just discrimination against older people, it happens all the time among the young who are judged as not ready to succeed – another attitude worth ignoring.

Push the limits if you are so motivated.

In one of the playoff series between the Atlanta Braves and Philadelphia Phillies, Phil’s superstar Bryce Harper made a serious and critical baserunning mistake that caused the team to blow a large lead and lose the game.

• Afterwards, Harper owned it – said it was over and he had to move on.
• Move on he did in their next game where his two homeruns helped his team defeat the Braves by a 10-2 score.
• According to Jake Mintz of Fox Sports Braves shortstop Orlando Arcia was caught cackling in the locker room and repeatedly saying “ha-ha, atta-boy, Harper” as reporters were entering for postgame interviews.

Most players avoid mocking the other team because it can come back to hurt you but just as important is owning mistakes and looking to improve the next time you get a chance.

That doesn’t just apply to sports.

People tend to overcompensate for their perceived weaknesses instead of celebrating their strengths.

• The great unlocked reserve of positivity comes from inside your head – the things you do well but don’t seem to remember.
• Capture the positive – take a screen shot if it is in an email or text, save it, review it and counterbalance the human tendency to keep our weaknesses and mistakes in the front of our mind.

The change that could make the biggest difference is emphasizing the things you do right as a rehearsal for future success.

One of the things, no – the most helpful thing my young NYU students like to do is journal.

• Many of them have done so in the past but have stopped along the way.
• Journaling allows us to actually see our obstacles and how we deal with them.
• If it’s not your thing that’s alright, just being able to see your growth, remember your progress helps change things in a big way.
• Progress is best assessed by ourselves – in our own words – rather than relying on observation of others.

It was never in doubt that the Olympic gymnast has the physical talent to win at the 2023 World Artistic Gymnastics Championships in Antwerp, Belgium.

• She has been plagued by mental health issues forcing her to withdraw from competition in the past.
• Her real courage came from stepping away from competition, sustaining the whispering of social media only to regain her confidence and return when she was ready.
• In the entertainment business, performance anxiety and imposter syndrome is a much more common problem than in the past – a reason we address it straight on in our NYU music business program.
• It’s a new, complex world in which outside forces bombard those who are talented with palpable feelings of not being good enough but in time and with self-care, it can be overcome.

Simone Biles just put on a text book performance – yes, in gymnastics, but even more impressive in regaining the belief in herself to participate in a grueling sport.

Would you tell a friend, “go ahead and try it if you like but you’ll probably fail?”

• But we say it all the time to ourselves – I can’t do it, I’m not good enough and other useless thoughts.
• If you wouldn’t tell a friend they can’t, why would you think it about yourself?
• Sometimes the biggest leap forward in confidence comes from being kinder in the way you talk to yourself.

While you’re waiting to succeed, get to work on the things that guarantee it.

• Success is not just a waiting game, it’s being prepared for our next moment.
• Building our strengths while waiting to succeed is the best use of time to those who want to be ready when the right moment comes.
• I had a student who told me they “hated” themselves for something they believe they did wrong – after that, it was all downhill.
• Instead, think of success the way you do with exercise – put in the time, push your limits, stay with it and put a stop/hold on comments that doubt your abilities.

Our wandering, unfocused minds need reminders of positivity during the day.

• I’m getting it done instead of I’m swamped.
• Reword the negative narrative in our heads.
• Recognize that negative narratives are often implanted in our minds by those who surround us not the sole work of trying to put ourselves down.
• Gratitude is a tool for shaking awake the positivity that’s getting crowded out by destructive thoughts – it’s proven, the more we appreciate things and people, the less we stagnate on what cannot be.

Doubts are normal and our brains are built to encourage them so negative narratives are not necessarily our fault, but we can fix them with a dose of gratitude.