It used to be Coca-Cola – one of the most memorable slogans of all time but today “the pause that refreshes” would be just as meaningful focused on mental health.

Tennis star Naomi Osaka, still struggling with anxiety, made a memorable description of the state of her mental health:

“I feel like for me recently, when I win, I don’t feel happy; I feel more like a relief,” she said. “And then when I lose, I feel very sad.”

Time out is needed to recover, rest and heal as tennis great Billie Jean King puts it.

We listen to our body when it is hurt.

Now we must also listen to our mind.

Procrastination is mood avoidance not task avoidance – avoid the task, avoid the bad mood.

But even that catches up with us – college students who chill out during their first semester, pay for it with increased anxiety in the second according to research.

The future is nice but it isn’t a powerful motivator to take on the business at hand in a timely way.

The answer:

• Make what you’re putting off feel more comfortable.
• See the future as a road map to making things better than the present.

I like to look at life like sports.

You don’t show up not to play.

You never start the game thinking you will lose or you absolutely will.

You can’t win ‘em all so you try to win as many as you can.

Sometimes one thing helps you win not everything.

Even in losing, you can get better.

No matter how much you’re down, you play until the end.

This is what we do in sports but we can also do it in life.

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Why are we always so optimistic about winning the lottery and so pessimistic about solving our health, relationship, personal and work problems?

It makes no sense.

You have virtually no chance of hitting it big in the lottery – but you already know that – and yet you have so much hope that you’re even willing to bet money on that slight chance.

It’s hope against the odds.

How would our lives change for the better if we could channel the type of blind and automatic optimism we have that we will win the lottery and bet on ourselves in the same hopeful way.

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Ever wonder why anxiety builds up as the day goes on?

We are human sponges soaking up the fears and worries of those we are connected to and making it ours.

The relief from being a sponge soaking up anxiety of others is to EXPUNGE these stressors.

Erase.

Remove.

It’s difficult enough to deal with our own negativity let alone taking on those of others.

Ban the negativity that brings you down by putting a stop/loss on the anxieties of those we are connected to.

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Loud people are more commanding, more assertive, more successful.

Wrong.

A recent Wall Street Journal piece says “Research shows that we are overconfident in our beliefs but underconfident about being heard.  So, we compensate by being loud.”

Soft spoken people are among the most riveting public speakers.

Yet loud people and shouters feel they have an abundance of confidence while the quiet and often shy see their soft-spokenness as a distinct disadvantage.

Especially true in social situations.

The trick is not to be loud or quiet but to be yourself – the real measure of inner-confidence.

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In jealousy there is more self-love than love (Francois VI, 1665)

Unfortunately, it is always destructive.

If we can go on a low carb diet, we can go on a jealousy diet.

In my book, Out of Bad Comes Good – The Advantages of Disadvantages – 5 steps can make a difference.

#1  Let go of the fear that you don’t have value

#2  Repeat often:  “jealousy hurts me more than it hurts them”

#3  Count jealousies like calories – make a list of people of whom you are jealous

#4  Focus on your accomplishments

#5  Make amends for jealous behavior

Our success is not assured by someone else’s failure.

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It seems like every time I go to Costco, someone makes me feel better.

Costco workers largely love their jobs, benefits and how they are treated by management.

They feel fortunate to have their jobs which is why few of them are quitting even though so many people are using the pandemic to look for something else.

I needed help putting nitrogen in the tires of my SUV and not only did I get it but learned a few things I didn’t know.

As is store policy, the employee wouldn’t take a tip because I wanted to pay him for making my day brighter.

Even in tough times, one happy person can make a difference.

The morning host on the radio or the supervisor for whom you work.

No matter how bad things get, positive people who are happy with where they are in life can lift others up.

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When you are hell bent to accomplish the most important goal of your life, be careful.

It’s easy to see that goal so much that you miss current opportunities to climb the ladder to success.

It’s the challenge that presents itself now that is the most important goal.

Conquer that and the next one comes along.

Passionately chasing future goals is ambition.

Pursuing the chances you have right now – these are the steps toward the big one.

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“But enough about me, let’s talk about you… what do you think of me?” – Bette Midler in Beaches: The Movie

How many people have asked about you today and, if they did, actually listened?

I thought of this in the last few days when I was asked a question and when I went to answer, the questioner answered it for me – not uncommon for our over-connected world.

The awesome power of listening is available to us as soon as this very day to unlock the humanity in others – to show you care, to make them addicted to being with you.

Talking in terms of the other person’s interest is what makes you a leader, a compelling figure and even a good conversationalist.

Dale Carnegie pointed out in How to Win Friends that ironically you have a better chance of being perceived as a good conversationalist by not talking so much and instead asking questions.

Close this email, and try it – let me know.