• There are three things I remind my students of in the final session of each semester. 

• First, as Mother Theresa said there is more hunger for love than there is for bread. 

• And a reminder that Viktor Frankl who survived a World War II concentration camp was able to come away with faith in people even under those tremendously challenging circumstances. 

• Finally, that the road not taken is always the direction of choice regardless of fear or uncertainty.

• 3 ways to stay positive by choosing to see the upside of life.

• When that well-earned break finally arrives, don’t be surprised if it makes little difference.
• Making your own good luck is more focused, urgent and relevant to your situation.
• To get a break, make a break instead of waiting for something to happen.
• “No one is going to know or care about your failures, and neither should you. All you have to do is learn from them and those around you. All that matters in business is that you get it right once. Then everyone can tell you how lucky you are.” — Mark Cuban

• Millennials are described as the loneliest generation followed by Gen Z (30% of millennials say they always and often felt lonely compared to 20% for Gen X and 15% for Baby Boomers).
• More millennials reported in a survey that they had no acquaintances, friends, close friends or best friends – and this is from a generation connected to their phones and social media.
• Social isolation ends when the emphasis is placed on fewer but more meaningful friendships in which both sides are equally invested.
• Mitch Albom says, “The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.”

• I was disappointed to hear podcaster and entrepreneur Scott Galloway describe his looks in an unfavorable way the other day – he was brutal about himself.
• Then I saw a study of males who basically liked themselves younger, taller and thinner than they actually were – I’ll spare you the details, unless you absolutely must.
• What about personality, heart, conviction, honesty, empathy – where are these attributes at this moment in time?
• The cheapest improvement to any person’s looks is a smile – we don’t see a lot of them these days but they are irresistible and cheaper than surgery.

• The more you listen, the more people like you (even though many of us think the more we talk, the more they like us).
• Ask questions – immediately like swallowing a pill – others warm up to people who ask questions.
• Being in the present is good, but better turns out to be focusing on the other person in the present without distractions or the need to chime in with your opinion.
• Being likeable is being willing to let the other person do all the talking.

• Tom Taylor shares a quote from the newsletter of the Michener Art Museum in Doylestown, PA which is named for hometown hero James Michener probably knocked out on his typewriter (which is on display at the museum).
• “Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today, you can do it again tomorrow.”

• The late Hall of Fame football coach and beloved icon John Madden was larger than life even after winning a Super Bowl, starting a second and even more successful career in television and as an entrepreneur with his football game. 

• But he feared flying and for all those years as a commentator, he took the train and then the bus to the stadium even if it meant riding it cross country – he had used four different buses by the time his broadcasting career ended.

• Madden’s fear was claustrophobia – a condition that many people have but it allows us to see a great person for what he really is – human – it makes his life even more meaningful.

• What do you call a football coach who reached the Super Bowl 4 times and lost all four times?
• He won a ring with the Cowboys as an assistant coach and another as a player.
• You call him a successful coach – Dan Reeves died over the holiday unable to attain the ultimate dream of a pro football player but one of the most successful coaches in the American Football Conference as head coach of Denver.
• Perhaps a good time to reconsider the definition of success – the accomplishment of an aim.
• It’s up to us not to discard our own accomplishments because they got caught between the fine line of success and failure.

• My mother, Adele, never passed by a cemetery without saying something like “people are dying to go there” which may explain where I got my sense of humor.
• She would really love Betty White’s take who lived to within weeks of 100 and because of her fame and longevity faced numerous previous hoaxes about her premature demise.
• White a trailblazer for life also looked to her mother according to The Washington Post: “She would always say, ‘Nobody knows. People think they do — you can believe whatever you want to believe what happens at that last moment — but nobody ever knows until it happens.’ … Growing up, whenever we’d lose somebody, she’d always say, ‘Now they know the secret.’”
• “Tell them that at 90 there’s no need to get impatient,” she said in 2012 “I’m hurrying as best as I can.”
• Despite all the questions prompted by the beloved comedian’s extended golden years, Betty White who lived as full a life as possible wrote in her autobiography “I’ll be dying to find out”.

The Gift of Your Time

• Silly us – we’re running around looking for gifts to give this holiday season when the number one thing that people crave is free.
• Giving someone your time especially in our fast-paced digital world is the gift that means the most.
• Without distraction, 100% focused on them.
• Have you ever purchased a gift for someone that you just couldn’t wait for them to open? That’s the enthusiasm that you need to tie a bow around what could bring more happiness than the most expensive present.
• Rick Warren author of The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? says:  “Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money, but you can’t make more time.  
• ‘“When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.
• “Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is “T-I-M-E.”

Flush Away Loneliness

• Sociologist Philip Slater’s book The Pursuit of Loneliness came up with the term “Toilet Assumption”, the incorrect belief that undesirable feelings will disappear if they are ignored.
• The internet and social media are ways we can withdraw and live in isolation while assuming connection to others.
• The Loneliness Solution: balance the same amount of time you devote to virtual connection with actual connection – in person, talking on the phone, Zoom and to the extent that safety allows in-person interaction.
• What makes us content is to hear, see and experience joyful moments.

Enjoy Every Day

• Here is what 63-year-old Dan Doctoroff, a former New York City deputy mayor said upon receiving the diagnosis of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (A.L.S) commonly called Lou Gehrig’s disease which usually results in death within three to five years after symptoms appear (his father and uncle died of A.L.S).
• “I’ve always been incredibly ambitious. I’ve been very, very focused on goals. I don’t want to live my life that way anymore. I want to try and enjoy every day, and what’s important is being with family and friends.”
• He has only a 20% chance that his symptoms won’t turn into A.L.S. but a 100% chance that he will live the rest of his life focused on what is really important.

Second guessing is a bet against you

• We do it all the time sometimes out of insecurity but why be first in line to doubt yourself?
• Buying a lottery ticket is confidence that you’re going to win (and you pay for it) even though the odds are crazy against you.
• The owners of FanDuel aren’t going broke, they’re betting on a business to get users to lose some of their money.
• Here’s the sure thing: anything worth you doing is worth you believing in – to do less is to be first to sabotage yourself.

• The Philadelphia Flyers hockey team lost 10 games in a row resulting in their coach being fired, playoff hopes dinged and confidence sink to the lowest possible level.
• When we sense things going south, why can’t we turn it around? When everything in our lives goes well, good things are expected and they come easier.
• When adversity gets into our heads, we bear down, try harder, become obsessed with getting back on track.
• Fearing ups and downs makes things worse.
• Anticipating an upswing breeds resilience to endure.
• Think of a rollercoaster – it rises and then falls – again and again – and most people like it so much they wait in long lines to ride them again.
• Losing streaks are tests to see if we’re still believing in ourselves.

If you’re shy, try … 

• Focusing on other people doesn’t always require speaking.
• Ask questions, people who love to talk often think those asking questions are also conversing at the same level and they like it.
• Go first, break the ice – most other people are also shy and they appreciate your initiative.
• The quietest people are often the most persuasive – use your gift wisely.

Bad moods are often caused by things that are minor

• There is a cure.
• Ask, is what’s bothering me this minute worth being bitter.
• People who flip off things that get them down are taking charge of their happiness.
• Then when a big problem occurs, focus on a big solution.
• If you’ve ever played golf with someone who messes up shots and laughs off mistakes and still has fun, just watch how to do it.
• Every irritation is not worth the same level of misery.

Why are we even listening to people who say negative things to us?

• Ignore them.
• Change the subject
• Laugh it off
• Never engage, never enrage
• No one can get into your head if you clap back words meant to hurt or control us.

Viktor Frankl’s account of his time in a World War II concentration camp (Man’s Search for Meaning) is chilling.

Happiness in itself does not qualify as such a purpose; pleasures do not give our life meaning.

In contrast, he points out that even the dark and joyless episodes of our lives can be times when we mature and find meaning.

Creating work, appreciating nature, works of art or simply loving people and facing the ups and downs of life.

These times may be difficult to endure but according to Frankl, our lives take on meaning through our actions, through loving, and even through suffering.

How many times have you heard someone apologize by saying “if I offended you, then…”

The quid pro quo of apologizing.

Sorry should be the easiest word we could say – actually, we should say it many times a day because …

• What we type into chat, social media and emails is bound to offend someone.
• Without seeing or hearing another person, we miss out on their reaction to us.
• Some people are more sensitive to things than others.
• And words have consequences – they matter.

Sorry isn’t bad, it means you’re good.

But the best apology is the one that includes what you’re sorry for – it’s a way we humans have of not having to be perfect.

1.  You are always in charge, always make the final decision and choose what is right for you.
2. You accept no criticism because criticism never makes you better without first hurting you.
3. You are responsible for believing in yourself not outsourcing it to others who could on a whim take it away some day.
4. You don’t ask for help without offering it in return.
5. You get endless re-dos as long as your heart is in the right place.