One of my students came up to me after class and shared that he felt lonely and removed from others socially because everyone is so engaged with their phones and social media.

Here’s what I told him:  Take small steps, break out of your private pattern, engage others.

Specifics:  Take a front seat in the classroom, be among the first to raise your hand and volunteer to respond, talk to someone on the way in or out of the room and when walking outside, look at someone else and smile at them.  Simple.  Small steps.

By the end of the semester, he said he was feeling more confident and enjoying being able to be first to engage others who seemed very appreciative.

Everything we need to make us happy and less isolated is already within waiting inside us to be awakened.

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Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting.

It doesn’t always mean reconciliation.

You’re not doing it for the other person.

Forgiving is necessary for all healing starting with you.

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Program consultant Mike Joseph once told me that his secret to choosing the best new format when re-doing a radio station was to look for the “hole” in the market.

The thing that competitors may have missed or ignored – and when you look closely enough there it is right in your face.

In life our better decisions would be the ones where we ask – what am I missing?

What’s the obvious choice that I may not be able to see at first.

Today, become more aware of hidden choices that may, after all, be right in front of us and then pursue them with vigor.

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A team doesn’t have to like being coached or being pushed.

Player-friendly coaches get fired just as often as hard driving ones.

The ones that last the longest, win the most, hit the highs are the ones who are fair.

Being fair doesn’t mean being overly understanding or friendly.

Fair to the team member and how to help them get the most from their talent.

Fair to you, the manager of many different people with one goal.

If you thought I was talking about only sports, don’t forget fairness is the quality that helps coach team members at work, too.

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Warren Buffett says successful people have one two-letter word in common.

No.

No is like yes for people who take on too much, have weak boundaries and who get lost in other people’s work.

Buffett goes further.

He says no to almost everything.

No is a good way to start being nicer to yourself and people who care about you will appreciate hearing it.

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You can’t control your employer, but you can control the type of employee you are.

You can’t control the family, but you have a lot of influence on the kind of family member you are.

You can’t control your friends in person or on social media, but you have the room to be the kind of friend you want to be.

Stephen Covey’s Circle of Influence is based on the idea that focusing on the things that an individual can control, rather than worrying about the things they cannot, leads to greater productivity, success, and happiness.

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Actually, being happier would be a breeze if we weren’t trying so hard to be happier than other people – at least how we perceive them in our minds.

As clinical psychologist Meg Jay points out life should look better on Instagram.

Most feel pretty good about themselves until they compare with others on social media.

It may surprise you but young college students are very aware of the toll Instagram and social media is taking on their psyche and are voluntarily deleting apps (often temporarily) with various degree of success.

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Today, for one day, resist comparing yourself to someone else.

Let it go, don’t think about it a second longer and try something different.

“Don’t compare yourself to other people; compare yourself to who you were yesterday – Jordan Peterson, psychologist.

The only comparison that truly matters.

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Sometimes it feels like we’re in a rut – but how can you know for sure?

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?”  And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

— Apple CEO Steve Jobs from his 2005 commencement speech at Stanford

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Disney CEO Bob Iger told Wall Street Journal reporter Kara Swisher in a 2005 interview — “If someone is going to eat our lunch, it might as well be us”.

This has business repercussions — be bold, take chances and act before someone else gets into your space.

It also has a personal meaning:  be bold, take chances and act before someone else gets into your space.

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That’s what research in the Journal of Health Psychology reveals – lots of little decisions we may not even be aware of and some big ones.

Those who are indecisive get bogged down and overwhelmed.

Decision makers turn out to be the ones who can accept that their decisions could go well or not.

Sometimes it’s just the best choice in the moment.

People with mental health issues or suffer from low esteem find it harder to trust their decisions.

Think of a decision as what works for you not so much whether it is a good or bad decision.

And sometimes having the luxury of time doesn’t make for better choices.

Decision makers don’t wait for perfect — they just act.

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You can’t expect to outsource self-confidence by looking to someone else.

Believe in you.

Never look to others for that which you don’t have.

The brain can be retrained – teach it to believe in you.

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“Character is built not in good times, but in bad times” said Apple founder Steve Jobs.

He said this to freshmen at his alma mater Reed College on August 27, 1991 and he knew what he was talking about.

NeXT computers were not selling well and Pixar experienced layoffs.

Adversity is a predictor of your next success because if you persist, it means you really want something and if you keep persisting, you cannot be denied.

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The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.

It’s not possible to have healthy relationships with others without having one with you.

People spend so much time obsessing over making friends and very little time accepting and recognizing the one they are having with themselves.

Be the best friend you’ve always wanted.

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No one succeeds all the time – in fact, it is not necessary.

Even Caitlin Clark doesn’t make every basket (an amazing 40% from the three-point range which means this women’s hoops superstar misses from that distance 60% of the time – more than she succeeds).

Since when do we have to feel badly about not succeeding?

Failure is the rehearsal for success.

Because if you do it again, it tells you how badly you want it (and to keep doing it means it’s only a matter of time before you succeed).

There’s a reason we don’t always get what we set out to do – sometimes adversity introduces us to ourselves, to those around us and something we may not have even previously considered.

Today, I’m not going to be so hard on myself – I’ll concentrate more on trying.

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What you do 144 times every day?

Eat?  No way.

Meet people?

Change the channel?

New research shows that the average American now checks their phone 144 times a day.

But that’s down from 344 times a day in 2022.

89% of us within the first ten minutes of waking up.

What my NYU students are now doing to get their life back is to ask this one question:

How can this app or digital device make me more effective or happier.

It helps to prioritize phone use rather than try to eliminate it.

For more startling phone usage and habits reached, view it here.

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Happiness comes from realizing how fortunate you are.

A grateful person is rarely unhappy.

They find ways to see even small things – and especially small things – as reasons to be joyful.

Scientists tell us the human brain was not built for happiness – we’re actually not doing anything wrong when we’re unhappy, it’s not the default setting.

The brain was designed primarily to trigger flee or fight not euphoria.

Stimulating the brain by focusing on gratitude for small things is a proven way to lift yourself up.

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Nothing worth doing is worth doubting.

Assume a virtue if you have it not as Shakespeare said.

Don’t look elsewhere for belief in yourself.

If you don’t have it, they won’t have it for you.

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When things just don’t seem to be going right, there’s always this.

For every person, not you, that you run into, think to yourself “you may also be having problems today, too – I wish you well”.

This silent affirmation redirects the barrage of unfortunate events to other people you may never know who are going through the same thing.

Life has ups and downs and that applies to everyone so compassion toward others helps.

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Research studies show we are happier, less depressed, anxious or stressed when we are kind and loving to ourselves.

Name the person who loves you the most then look at yourself the way they do – it may be your dog or cat! 

Don’t judge yourself – to do so will cause more fear and anxiety.

Being compassionate to ourselves makes us more compassionate to others. 

Believe the good things about you and don’t be anxious to accept the bad things you hear. 

We spend a lot of time talking about the importance of being compassionate, but compassion starts with you.

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