This is just as important as compassion to others because we are fallible human beings – we make mistakes, we are not perfect.

But so do others.

They make mistakes that make them less than perfect.

The best way I have ever heard of showing compassion to yourself is from Amit Sood, MD who says “Look at yourself with the eyes of the person who loves you the most.”

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When things are going great, it doesn’t take much to feel good about yourself.

But when faced with adversity, it is human to see gradual erosion in self-confidence.

You know, we still feel fine and can handle our jobs and lives but we just don’t feel like we have an abundance of confidence.

• Look out for self-damaging statements like “I screwed up (blank)” or “I didn’t (blank)”.
• When words like “didn’t”, “couldn’t” and their relatives “don’t” and “can’t” start coming out of our mouths, take notice and stop them in mid sentence.
• My theory is – why should we contribute to knocking ourselves down.  Life is tough enough without us heaping on more insults in our own direction.
• Reject negative comments or projections aimed at you by others.  Untended, these comments can contribute to a critical loss of self-esteem.
• Build confidence around a feeling of well-being not based on the premise that everything we do must succeed.  Example:  “I will out work anyone”.  “No one cares more than I do”.  “In a tough situation, I want me to handle things”.  When we build self-esteem through truisms about our motivation and conviction to succeed and not on how things are going lately, we can maintain the highest level of self-confidence at all times.

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The founding member and guitarist for the Eagles died a month after he and the group was to be honored at Kennedy Center.

The event was postponed because of Frey’s deteriorating health from multiple conditions.

And now Frey’s death immediately follows the music industry losses of the icon pioneer David Bowie and pop singer Natalie Cole.

The death of a musician is like losing family because music is the soundtrack of our lives.  We know exactly where we were when we first heard a song that resonated with us and can relive any live performances we attended even until this day.

As baby boomers age and they inevitably experience the loss of other seminal artists it is a good time to recognize what we can do when we experience loss.

Live and appreciate life in the present because when we lose those that we love, we will always have happy memories to live on for the rest of our lives.

That’s true of the people dear to us whom we miss and mourn and those that we did not know personally but who made our lives happier because they were in them.

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Celine Dion’s husband, Rene Angelil died yesterday at the age of 73.

He struggled with throat cancer for years and in a very public interview, Celine Dion told of how she was feeding her husband with a tube and helping him overcome the fear of dying.

But it is her message of life that lives on.

“It’s important to open your eyes in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror and ask two questions: ‘Are you dead, or do you have a ticket to ride’ … There are just two tickets. If you’re alive, have a good day. Because today is the most important day of your life.”

Dr. Amit Sood, the Mayo Clinic physician, teacher and author, believes there is something positive about contemplating the finite nature of years one has left.

Better to make the years ahead filled with more meaning and fewer regrets.

We best remember those we have loved and lost by making their best qualities part of our being and we live life to the fullest when we realize that if you’re alive, have a good day.

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Maybe by this morning we will all know who the lucky person or people are who are going to share in this monster Powerball lottery jackpot.

But don’t call them winners.

Here are 8 winners whose luck ran out after they won (article).

In fact, so many lottery “winners” end up homeless, without friends, without a purpose and distanced from those who drank from the fountain of wealth.

In other words, the dream often becomes the nightmare.

Unfathomable wealth turns out to be the kiss of death and yet all of us try to buy a few tickets and get lucky.  We say, it would pay for our kids’ education, pay off the house, get us out of debt and maybe allow for a vacation.

Some people (not all) actually quit their jobs, lose their identity and become official spenders of their fortune.

Ask Warren Buffett what he thinks of his wealth as he lives in a modest home and where he has bequeathed only a very small portion of his vast wealth to his children who must spend the majority of it on charitable works.

Bill Gates is giving away his money and now the Zuckerberg’s are pledging to give their billions away.

Money is a wonderful thing, no doubt.

The old saying, “… the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil” starts with the keys words “the love of money”.

What a good time for the rest of us lottery losers to be grateful that we get to keep our jobs, our debt, our problems and our futures because as my mother used to say “if it’s too good to be true, then it probably is”.

Pay forward and give to others as best you can and we’re not just talking about money here.

The gift of your time is worth more than money can buy and feels really good to the giver and receiver.

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Before Paul Ryan agreed to become Speaker of the House, he insisted that he be allowed to keep his family time and limit the extensive traveling the job usually entails.

President Obama told TODAY show host Matt Lauer in a pre-State of the Union message yesterday morning that being president has made him a better father.

He and Michelle attend parent-teacher conferences together.  He helps coach Sasha’s basketball team and attended Sasha’s dance recitals.

In fact, being President was the first time that the family was able to gather together for dinner every night in their upstairs quarters at the White House.

Men and women are increasingly speaking out about balancing the roles of professionals as they pertain to their children.

I know a family counselor who says if there is only one change you can make at this point to be a better dad or mom, commit to having dinner together every night.

And no cell phones.

That includes you, mom and dad.

It’s not the amount of time you spend together, it’s the amount of time you are present together.

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Ground Control to Major Tom:  why is being different truly appreciated AFTER a life of being different?

David Bowie looked different, sounded different.  His thought process was, well – different.  He was skilled at the process of reinvention.

When someone dies we often hear the consoling thought that they are in a “better place” but actually being different puts those around such a person in a better place.

Steve Jobs was famous for saying be different:

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do”.

The best way to remember someone you’re fond of who is now gone is to take one of their best qualities and make it yours.

Be different.

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Opposing coach Pete Carroll of the Seattle Seahawks watched in amazement and joy as his team was about to lose their playoff game yesterday when all the Vikings needed to do was kick a usually routine 27-yard field goal.

Kicker Blair Walsh who was responsible for all the Vikings’ points up until this juncture was about to be the hero again and then suddenly he became the goat. Here’s a quick video if you missed it.

The game the Vikings were destined to win was now lost and the Seahawks who were thus destined to lose were alive to advance to the next round.

I know what you’re thinking – never give up.

That, too.

But last year Seahawks coach Pete Carroll called the wrong play that would have guaranteed his team a Super Bowl victory over New England and he had to live with it all winter.

Sports like life is made up of victories and losses. Carroll chose to remain positive and focus on winning another Super Bowl someday. It is ironic that the same kind of blown play that lost his team the big victory last year was responsible for the team advancing this year.

The other lesson: Adversity introduces a person to him or herself and to those around them.

Never give up, yes. But never, lose faith in yourself – oh yes!

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How screwed up is the world where we endure so much stress every day and still wind up feeling insufficient?

When good doesn’t seem to be good enough and when doing better somehow has little impact on happiness.

• Everyone is okay the way they are.
• No one gets to tell you how you need to be better – that’s always your decision.
• For every self-deprecating thought you harbor, balance it with one about a strength you possess to keep things in balance.
• If you want to make yourself really miserable, try to change another person.  And keep this in mind when someone else tries to change you.
• Fred Rogers told his kid’s audience on the PBS television show Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood that he liked them just the way they are.  Ironically, productive change comes when we like others and ourselves the way we are as opposed to how someone else wants us to be.

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14-year old Nicole Pfister is a cancer patient who was bullied online in the cruelest possible ways but former Cincinnati Bengals NFL player Devon Still, the football player whose own daughter Leah gained prominence as she fought cancer came to her rescue.

He told her to buck up and said that he wanted to take her and her family to Disney World.

How cruel were these cyber bullies who took to Instagram to taunt a teen fighting cancer?

“ Knock. Knock.  Who’s there?  Not you white blood cells, that’s to be sure”.

Another said “kill yourself if you are even alive”.

Bullying has been around as long as people have but with social media, its impact is more widespread and even more hurtful.

We can’t imagine anyone attacking a cancer patient let alone a teenager with such cruelty.

Devon Still wanted to send Nicole a message that bullying is not cool and that there are people who care even when it doesn’t seem like it.

That’s how you push back against the damage bullies can do.

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